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Solestruck.com is holding a FLASH GIVEAWAY on Tumblr! STARTING NOW!
All you have to do is REBLOG— likes DO NOT COUNT— this post and you’re eligible to win a FREE PAIR OF JEFFREY CAMPBELL LITA SPIKE CMYK (as flashed above)GIVEAWAY ENDS TOMORROW AT 5PM (PST).
One winner, chosen at RANDOM, will be announced here and on our facebook. So be sure to check back!
aaaaaand GO!
Who Ever Made This.
YOU’RE A GENIUSlike my 30th time rebloggin , ilove this :D lol
oh my gawddd <3
lol
been waiting for this omg
IT’S BLACK
I MEAN BACK ♥
It’s been raining here in Seattle again, so use code APRILSHOWERS for free US shipping till Sunday :)
xo
I just added 18 Ring Pop Bling rings to my Etsy shop! I made the molds for these myself and they’re super fun!
Periods, you no longer impress me. I am bleeding from my nethers, WHATEVER. Try something new, uterus. You make chocolate pudding instead of blood, then we’ll talk.
Ooookies. Back to happies. Dear lord, tumblr. You’re really whippin’ my mood around today.
oh my god
super cute
but i’m not sure how i feel about mulan pony being yellow…
^^^^^^^^^^^^
So is the Belle pony…
Why is Snow WHITE blue >.<
So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.
Could not stop laughing.
In an American airport a strange looking young couple arrived to travel to Las Vegas. The couple carried some baggage and a baby swaddled tightly in a blanket. The young couple went trough the security without a problem with the woman holding the baby very close to her body.
Once the plane had boarded, the couple took their seats and waited for the airplane to take off with the rest of the passengers. When they were in the air a hostess came to ask if the baby needed anything but the couple refused and said everything would be alright.
From that moment the hostess was a little suspicious and she watched the couple during the flight. She noticed the couple didn’t feed the baby, the baby didn’t cry even once or make any sound at all.
When the plane landed, the police were waiting for the couple at the airport. The hostess had alerted the authorities. The police searched the couple and found that the baby was dead, it’s organs had been removed and the body was packed full of illegal drugs.
HEY MORONS. This never actually happened. Check snopes. This story has been floating around since the mid-90’s.
